Blocked and Tackled

Block and Tackle is an interesting game played in university fests. It is a slightly different version of the normal debate, with the topics being a little lighter. Here, you don't have two people, one rooting for the motion, and the other ranting against it. A single person gets a topic, and for 3 minutes he starts speaking on it. His initial choice may be for or against the motion, but he has to keep it throughout.

Suppose a speaker starts speaking against reservations. This is his block position. He will continue speaking against reservations, until the judge calls out "Tackle", where he switches sides and starts speaking FOR reservations. Again when he is tackling it, if the judge calls out "Block", he switches back to his original stand, against reservations. Much fun comes when the speaker changes his stand when judges call out "Block" instead of "Tackle".

The winner is the one who had spoken on varied points, made their stands clear, and switched sides seamlessly. And did not switch sides, when judges called "Tackle" when they were already tackling the motion.

Shweta Jha was a clear winner. At our yearly fest, PESCO, she was an external candidate, who came along with Sudarshan Avadhany, from VVCE, Mysore. I had never seen anyone play B&T so seamlessly. It was obvious that a lot of effort and practise had gone into it. Her debates were something which I never missed, during the fest. Being busy with stage events like Dumbcharades and Mad-Ads, I never got a chance to congratulate her that evening, though I was in the front row, cheering at her every successful switch. Applauding at every relevant point she made in the debate.

I never knew her personally, but used to hear about her from friends. During the little I saw her on stage, she came across as a bubbly vivacious girl, with a ringing infectious laughter. She would laugh at every little mistake she or her teammate made, and the joy on her face was radiant. After PESCO, I heard a lot about her through Datta and Naveen (both VVCE) about her activities and wins in other tournaments, and VVCE's own fest, Vidyut.

It came as no surprise to me that she had carried across her enthusiasm to the workplace as well. Her colleague, Uppu Prasanna, remembers her as a, intelligent and a cheerful gal who took part in all group activities which involved making a lot of noise. A typical, fun-loving gal, who wanted to make the most of life.

Before fate blocked and tackled her life tragically.

On 10th of June, after hectic weeks of coding and stuff, Shweta and her colleagues went on a project party to Sivanasamudra, where, while playing in the water, she slipped on some rocks, and disappeared forever. By the time her colleagues recovered from the shock, it was too late.

When Naveen (ECE, PESCE, 2004) told me about this yesterday, we were silent for a long time. The mail he sent further mentioned that the body was found next day, badly mutilated due to all the rocks and debris it hit on its course. Prasanna, who wrote the stuff, further warns us, in such outing we hardly think of anything else but the moment. Before you enjoy like there's no tomorrow, do spare a thought for your parents, and the people who care for you. What will happen to them in case anything happens to YOU.

Like any other kid, Shweta's parents too had dreams and aspirations for her, they had a picture of their daughter's lively future. Her friends are inconsolable, and are yet to come out of the shock that encompasses them. It is hard for me to believe that the infectious laughter has been silenced forever. When it affects me, who saw her on stage for a couple of days, to this extent, I shudder to think of those who knew her better, as a close friend, as a classmate, as a colleague, as a relative...

Shweta Jha, Rest in Peace. May your ringing laughter illuminate your heavenly abode.

All weirdos, man

I saw this tag coming when she was doing it, but it was she who tagged me.

You gotta write five weird things about yourself, and then pass it on to five others. Of course, these can't be held against you in any court. Awright, here goes.

1. I always take the phone to my left ear to answer a call. Why? I don't know. This is about being weird, right?

2. I always keep my money sorted by denominations, the mutilated notes preceding the crisp ones for each denomination. And Gandhi always has his bald pate on top.

3. I can never wear a baseball cap with its peak in the front. It always has to be back. I used to, but once while riding fast, the wind blew it away, and my cap came under a bus, and I lost it. I have that fear ever since. Even when not riding.

4. My company is quite lenient on the dress code, and does not insist on a tie. Yet, you can catch me knotting a tie on a Monday, even though I don't wear it to office. I just remove it and put it away.

5. My comments usually end up being of a length fit for a post, and I quietly convert them to posts on my blog. I'm restraining it though, and the fact that there is no post on Mysore even a week after she put this up, is proof enough.

Now for the next five: Its her, her, her, him and him.

Quick one

All right, this is a quick one now.

What is Himmy's favourite toy?
Balloooonn.

Bride and Prejudice???

I personally don't like putting up forwards here, as blogs, but when she sent it, I couldn't but resist putting it up.

Ah, lady, this is for you. And for you too, my dearest.

Here is a girl,
who is as much educated as you are;
who is earning almost as much as you do;
one, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

one, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;
one, who has lived with and loved her parents and brothers and sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
one, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name;

one, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen;
one, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;
to be a naukraani, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her, and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding or if she learns faster than you;

one, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace, too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;
one, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

one, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

one, who just wants one thing from you - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding and love.

Are you man enough to give it to her?

I, for one, am.

Oooonnn

You must be knowing that Oxford adds a new word to its dictionary every year. This year's word is oooonning.

Oooonning: verb, the act of singing through one's nose, usually before or in the opening lines of a song. The most famous proponent of this form of singing is Himmy, who compares himself to the legendary sufi and ghazal singer, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan.

All was fine when Sallu offered Himmy his first break in PKTDK. Humraaz, methinks, was the latest display of his sanity. Later, he appeared as a gharana trainer in Sa Re Ga Ma Pa- Music Director ka Mahayuddh. He was just a music director then, like Jatin-Lalit and Ismail Durbar. He was okay in the first few rounds. Later when his protege Vinit's luck turned with a baseball cap, Himmy took to it as well.

What Himmy does is - he doesn't bath for a week, gets a crew cut, grows a beard, gets a torn baseball cap, a worn leather jacket, a steel mike and starts ooooonnning. First he is seen sharing space with heroes in remixes of his own songs. Then others are seen sharing space with him, in his own music video. Talk of role reversal. (Come to think of it, oooooo sounds same if you sing it forward or reverse. Oh! Dear Me !!! Such versatility.)

Aashiq Banaya Aapne, the first product of this oooonn business is a smashing hit. It breaks all records (There were none, in the first place. This was the first ooonn album, remember?).

Then, my friends, begins to spread - the Himmy virus. So much that MTV makes a spoof of it:
A person affected by Himmy virus (ooooonnn Khajoor, 13 13 13 surrooor)
-> begins to wear a baseball cap suddenly.
-> wears a old leather jacket.
-> grows a stubble.
-> thinks Ismail Durbar does not know anything.
-> holds a guitar with no idea of how to play it.
-> thinks the nose is for singing and not for breathing.

If you know any person affected by this please send HIMESH (ech eye yem eee yes ech) to 8459, for vaccination.

Himmy delivers hit after hit in Aksar, Chinatown and his first non-film ooolbum "Tera suroor". Research done on "Himms", yeah these are the names for Himmy compositions, show that one particular single or double syllable word repeats at least twice. And more often than not, its 13 13...13 13. No?

Take a look-
Mar Jawa Jawa Mar jawa mar jawa mit jawa..
Aa Aa Aashiquin mein teri..
Zara Jhoom Jhoom..
Naam hai tera tera..
Tera tera tera surroor..
Laagi Laagi laagi prem rog laagi..
Jhalak dikhla ja, ek baar aaja aaja..

Ad-men try to catch in on his popoonnlarity by using his song "Jhalak Dikhla Jaa" for motorbikes. Methinks they want to prove that their bikes would also go oooonn once started, so like in cars, you can also enjoy music on the go.

By this time, wisecracks have come up with their PJs. Like this one:
Identify the song:
OO
OON
OOON
OOOON
OOOOON
OOOOOON
OOOOOOON

Didn't guess?
OOOOOOOON Huzoor, 13 13 13 surrooor.

And this one: There is a house called "DIL" where all the walls have 13 written over them. Identify the song:
DIL ki surkh diwaron pe, naam hai 13, 13... naam hai 13 13...

In spite of all this, people like her indulge in Himmy-bashing. What I don't understand is how can people say all these things about dear Himmy?

Crooning Himmy's songs in Karaoke will help you clear your nasal passages. Breath control and nasal voice modulation improve beyond imagination. In fact, those who croon Himms breathe better than those who chant vedic hymns. I think they fare a tad better than those who do Surya namaskar and Art of Living.

Ooonning once at bedtime will convince the mosquitoes that you are one of them, so they will not bite you. It will also identify you to the diseased dogs in the street, so they won't howl in front of your house.

Oooning with greater gusto, with increase in tempo, while listening to dhik chick dhik chick music will help cure constipation, and improve bowel movements. Himmy has 'himm'self said that he does not rest until he composes at least 3 songs a day. No wonder you don't get his appointment in the mornings.

Here is a man who is curing ailments, repelling mosquitoes and rabid canines, giving ideas for making brand new PJs, and all you do is indulge in Himmy-bash?...Tch tch...

Ok, thats all...I'm rolling on the floor now....Hoo hoo hoooooooonnn...Oh no, now i'm laughing in ooooon.

Update: Oh!! I thought I had heard it all. Villagers have now banned Himmy's Jhalak dikhla jaa, because the "ek baar aaja aaja" brings back the dead from their graves. The villagers have turned off the radio, and burnt all CDs and cassettes of that song. Wonder how it will affect the sales of bikes though.

MBA anyone?

An old post, but a good one.

Came across this checklist for MBA preparation. Do visit.
And yes, all the best.

Double Whammy

Fanaa: Three reasons to watch Fanaa are Kajol, Kajol and Kajol. Whew!!! She has taken it up from where she left off. The bubbly smile takes you back to those impish laughter in KKKG, or the shy wishing-at-the-sight-of-a-meteor girl in KKHH. Her dance is as graceful as it ever was, and the emotions flow like a river in spate...its so tangible...Apart from that, there's Aamir, one guy who is never content with one look. He looks a bit aged, though. And has a telling paunch in the rain scenes. His other looks are good though, loved the one in which he moves around with a laptop. And the shaayaris at the drop of a hat....dear me!!! And of course, Kashmir is outsourced to Poland. And its sooo beautiful. Its the only beautiful thing in the film which stands up in comparison to Kajol, but just falls short. Allright, I over-did it a bit now. The songs are hummable, and are picturised well, too.

But there are a few nuances too. Serendipity is one. Kajol's parents seem a tad over-enthusiastic about their daughter. It's as though they want their daughter to fall in love with the next person who crosses the street. It all seems too easy. The film is a wee bit lengthy. They have taken the concept of a 3 hour film a bit too seriously, because it does stretch that long. A couple of quick cuts, and some crisp editing could have made the movie slick and pacy. Also, there are many little inconsistencies, which do not fit in the scheme of things.

In any case, the absence of any other big banner movies, and the controversy, I think it will just make enough money to be stamped a HIT.

Da Vinci Code: For those who have NOT read the book, in one word, I can say the movie is gripping. For those who have, the word is "diluted". If you haven't read the book, it has you on the edge of your seat, wondering what might come up next. The pace is good, yet it runs to over two and a half hours. Look out for the scenes where Sophie drives the car in reverse, Silas punishing himself before the Christ and the explanation how a CRYPTEX works.

Now, for those who have read the book, the movie has done quite some justice to it, but again, it all seems too easy. He unscrambles the codes in a matter of minutes, whereas you enjoy the vivid five-page descriptions in the book. Same is the case where they go to the Zurich Bank. They put in the account number, as if it were the most natural thing to do. The book scores over the movie in scenes like these. By and large, the movie is good, and holds your attention throughout. The way the letters shine out individually reminds one of Ron Howard's earlier movie A Beautiful Mind.

Reports show that it opened to a good audience, but X-Men did better.

Another review of Fanaa here.

Don't Know - Can't Say

And we have for a minister, Mr. Arjun "I don't know" Singh. Courting unwanted publicity and gaining dirty mileage by bringing about the Reservationgate, he answers Karan Thapar in his show. And how...

For almost 60 straight questions put by Thapar, Singh answers 7-8 saying "It is the decision of the parliament", "I am the parliament's servant", "The parliament is supreme", "It was a decision taken by the PMO", "The PM's decision is final" so on and so forth. The most sizeable chunk of his answers, more than one-third, comes as a combination of "I don't know - I don't think - I can't say". Twenty two times in his interview, he says he doesn't know. The Union HRD Minister does not know answers, or cannot answer, or does not think he can answer twenty two of sixty straight questions. BAH !!!

And he says Karan Thapar's figures are not right. Thapar, who talks of a research conducted by the IITs themselves, of a Parliamentary committee report, of the observations made by Sukhdev Thorat, chairman of UGC, and of all the facts there are in the public domain, is being told that his figures are wrong. That his research is fallacious. And Singh goes on to imply that "the perceptions of a modern society do not fit INDIA entirely". He says he cannot share with the public what the government is planning to do on this. Need I talk about the Right to Information Act? Propriety, he says, does not allow him to share it. Well, what does propriety allow him to share? A combination of twenty-two "I don't know-I can't say-I don't think"s?

Go on...Read for yourself.

Karan Thapar: Hello and welcome to the Devil's Advocate. As the debate over the reservations for the OBCs divides the country, we ask - What are the government's real intentions? That is the critical questions that I shall put today in an exclusive interview to the Minister for Human Resource Development Arjun Singh. Most of the people would accept that steps are necessary to help the OBCs gain greater access to higher education. The real question is - Why do you believe that reservations is the best way of doing this?
Arjun Singh: I wouldn't like to say much more on this because these are decisions that are taken not by individuals alone. And in this case, the entire Parliament of this country - almost with rare anonymity - has decided to take this decision.
Karan Thapar: Except that Parliament is not infallible. In the Emergency, when it amended the Constitution, it was clearly wrong, it had to reverse its own amendments. So, the question arises - Why does Parliament believe that the reservation is the right way of helping the OBCs?
Arjun Singh: Nobody is infallible. But Parliament is Supreme and atleast I, as a Member of Parliament, cannot but accept the supremacy of Parliament.
Karan Thapar: No doubt Parliament is supreme, but the constitutional amendment that gives you your authorities actually unenabling amendment, it is not a compulsory requirement. Secondly, the language of the amendment does not talk about reservations, the language talks about any provision by law for advancement of socially and educationally backward classes. So, you could have chosen anything other than reservations, why reservations?
Arjun Singh: Because as I said, that was the 'will and desire of the Parliament'.
Karan Thapar: Do you personally also, as Minister of Human Resource Development , believe that reservations is the right and proper way to help the OBCs?
Arjun Singh: Certainly, that is one of the most important ways to do it.
Karan Thapar: The right way?
Arjun Singh: Also the right way.
Karan Thapar: In which case, lets ask a few basic questions; we are talking about the reservations for the OBCs in particular. Do you know what percentage of the Indian population is OBC? Mandal puts it at 52 per cent, the National Sample Survey Organisation at 32 per cent, the National Family and Health Survey at 29.8 per cent, which is the correct figure?
Arjun Singh: I think that should be decided by people who are more knowledgeable. But the point is that the OBCs form a fairly sizeable percentage of our population.
Karan Thapar: No doubt, but the reason why it is important to know 'what percentage' they form is that if you are going to have reservations for them, then you must know what percentage of the population they are, otherwise you don't know whether they are already adequately catered in higher educational institutions or not.
Arjun Singh: That is obvious - they are not.
Karan Thapar: Why is it obvious?
Arjun Singh: Obvious because it is something which we all see.
Karan Thapar: Except for the fact that the NSSO, which is a government appointed body, has actually in its research in 1999 - which is the most latest research shown - that 23.5 per cent of all university seats are already with the OBCs. And that is just 8.5 per cent less than what the NSSO believes is the OBC share of the population. So, for a difference of 8 per cent, would reservations be the right way of making up the difference?
Arjun Singh: I wouldn't like to go behind all this because, as I said, Parliament has taken a view and it has taken a decision, I am a servant of Parliament and I will only implement.
Karan Thapar: Absolutely, Parliament has taken a view, I grant it. But what people question is the simple fact - Is there a need for reservations? If you don't know what percentage of the country is OBC, and if furthermore, the NSSO is correct in pointing out that already 23.5 per cent of the college seats are with the OBC, then you don't have a case in terms of need.
Arjun Singh: College seats, I don't know.
Karan Thapar: According to the NSSO - which is a government appointed body - 23.5 per cent of the college seats are already with the OBCs.
Arjun Singh: What do you mean by college seats?
Karan Thapar: University seats, seats of higher education.
Arjun Singh: Well, I don't know I have not come across that far.
Karan Thapar: So, when critics say to you that you don't have a case for reservation in terms of need, what do you say to them?
Arjun Singh: I have said what I had to say and the point is that that is not an issue for us to now debate.
Karan Thapar: You mean the chapter is now closed?
Arjun Singh: The decision has been taken.
Karan Thapar: Regardless of whether there is a need or not, the decision is taken and it is a closed chapter.
Arjun Singh: So far as I can see, it is a closed chapter and that is why I have to implement what all Parliament has said.
Karan Thapar: Minister, it is not just in terms of 'need' that your critics question the decision to have reservation for OBCs in higher education. More importantly, they question whether reservations themselves are efficacious and can work. For example, a study done by the IITs themselves shows that 50 per cent of the IIT seats for the SCs and STs remain vacant and for the remaining 50 per cent, 25 per cent are the candidates, who even after six years fail to get their degrees. So, clearly, in their case, reservations are not working.
Arjun Singh: I would only say that on this issue, it would not be correct to go by all these figures that have been paraded.
Karan Thapar: You mean the IIT figures themselves could be dubious?
Arjun Singh: Not dubious, but I think that is not the last word.
Karan Thapar: All right, maybe the IIT may not be the last word, let me then quote to you the report of the Parliamentary Committee on the welfare for the Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes - that is a Parliamentary body. It says that looking at the Delhi University, between 1995 and 2000, just half the seats for under-graduates at the Scheduled Castes level and just one-third of the seats for under-graduates at the Scheduled Tribes level were filled. All the others went empty, unfilled. So, again, even in Delhi University, reservations are not working.
Arjun Singh: If they are not working, it does not mean that for that reason we don't need them. There must be some other reason why they are not working and that can be certainly probed and examined. But to say that for this reason, 'no reservations need to be done' is not correct.
Karan Thapar: Fifty years after the reservations were made, statistics show, according to The Hindustan Times, that overall in India, only 16 per cent of the places in higher education are occupied by SCs and STs. The quota is 22.5 per cent, which means that only two-thirds of the quota is occupied. One third is going waste, it is being denied to other people.
Arjun Singh: As I said, the kind of figures that have been brought out, in my perception, do not reflect the realities. Realities are something much more and of course, there is an element of prejudice also.
Karan Thapar: But these are figures that come from a Parliamentary Committee. It can't be prejudiced; they are your own colleagues.
Arjun Singh: Parliamentary Committee has given the figures, but as to why this has not happened, that is a different matter.
Karan Thapar: I put it to you that you don't have a case for reservations in terms of need, you don't have a case for reservations in terms of their efficacy, why then, are you insisting on extending them to the OBCs?
Arjun Singh: I don't want to use that word, but I think that your argument is basically fallicious.
Karan Thapar: But it is based on all the facts available in the public domain.
Arjun Singh: Those are facts that need to be gone into with more care. What lies behind those facts, why this has not happened, that is also a fact.
Karan Thapar: Let’s approach the issue of reservations differently in that case. Reservations mean that a lesser-qualified candidate gets preference over a more qualified candidate, solely because in this case, he or she happens to be an OBC. In other words, the upper castes are being penalised for being upper caste.
Arjun Singh: Nobody is being penalised and that is a factor that we are trying to address. I think that the prime Minister will be talking to all the political parties and will be putting forward a formula, which will see that nobody is being penalised.
Karan Thapar: I want very much to talk about that formula, but before we come to talk about how you are going to address concerns, let me point one other corollary - Reservations also gives preference and favour to caste over merit. Is that acceptable in a modern society?
Arjun Singh: I don't think the perceptions of modern society fit India entirely.
Karan Thapar: You mean India is not a modern society and therefore can't claim to be treated as one?
Arjun Singh: It is emerging as a modern society, but the parameters of a modern society do not apply to large sections of the people in this country.
Karan Thapar: Let me quote to you Jawaharlal Nehru, a man whom you personally admire enormously. On the 27th of June 1961 wrote to the Chief Ministers of the day as follows: I dislike any kind of reservations. If we go in for any kind of reservations on communal and caste basis, we will swamp the bright and able people and remain second rate or third rate. The moment we encourage the second rate, we are lost. And then he adds pointedly: This way lies not only folly, but also disaster. What do you say to Jawaharlal Nehru today?
Arjun Singh: Jawaharlal Nehru was a great man in his own right and not only me, but everyone in India accept his view.
Karan Thapar: But you are just about to ignore his advice.
Arjun Singh: No. Are you aware that it was Jawaharlal Nehru who introduced the first ammendment regarding OBCs?
Karan Thapar: Yes, and I am talking about Jawaharlal Nehru in 1961, when clearly he had changed his position, he said - I dislike any kind of reservations.
Arjun Singh: I don't think one could take Panditji's position at any point of time and then overlook what he had himself initiated.
Karan Thapar: Am I then to understand that regardless of the case that is made against reservations in terms of need, regardless of the case that has been made against reservations in terms of efficacy, regardless of the case that has been made against reservations in terms of Jawaharlal Nehru, you remain committed to extending reservations to the OBCs.
Arjun Singh: I said because that is the will of Parliament. And I think that common decisions that are taken by Parliament have to be honoured.
Karan Thapar: Let me ask you a few basic questions - If reservations are going to happen for the OBCs in higher education, what percentage of reservations are we talking about?
Arjun Singh: No, that I can't say because that has yet to be decided.
Karan Thapar: Could it be less than 27 per cent?
Arjun Singh: I can't say anything on that, I have told you in the very beginning that at this point of time it is not possible for me to.
Karan Thapar: Quite right. If you can't say, then that also means that the figure has not been decided.
Arjun Singh: The figure will be decided, it has not been decided yet.
Karan Thapar: The figure has not been decided. So, therefore the figure could be 27, but it could be less than 27 too?
Arjun Singh: I don't want to speculate on that because as I said, that is decision, which will be taken by Parliament.
Karan Thapar: Whatever the figure, one thing is certain that when the reservations for OBCs happen, the total quantum of reservations will go up in percentage terms. Will you compensate by increasing the total number of seats in colleges, universities, IITs and IIMs, so that the other students don't feel deprived.
Arjun Singh: That is one of the suggestions that has been made and is being seriously considered.
Karan Thapar: Does it find favour with you as a Minister for Human Resource Development?
Arjun Singh: Whatever suggestion comes, we are committed to examine it.
Karan Thapar: You may be committed to examine it, but do you as minister believe that that is the right way forward?
Arjun Singh: That could be one of the ways, but not the only way.
Karan Thapar: What are the other ways?
Arjun Singh: I don't know. That is for the Prime Minister and the other ministers to decide.
Karan Thapar: One way forward would be to increase the total number of seats.
Arjun Singh: Yes, definitely.
Karan Thapar: But the problem is that as the Times of India points out, we are talking of an increase of perhaps as much as 53 per cent. Given the constraints you have in terms of faculty and infrastructure, won't that order of increase dilute the quality of education?
Arjun Singh: I would only make one humble request, don't go by The Times of India and The Hindustan Times about faculty and infrastructure, because they are trying to focus on an argument which they have made.
Karan Thapar: All right, I will not go by The Times of India, let me instead go by Sukhdev Thorat, the Chairman of the UGC. He points out that today, at higher education levels - that is all universities, IITs and IIMs - there is already a 1.2 lakh vacancy number. 40 per cent of these are in teaching staff, which the IIT faculty themselves point out that they have shortages of up to 30 per cent. Given those two constraint, can you increase the number of seats?
Arjun Singh: That can be addressed and that shortage can be taken care of.
Karan Thapar: But it can't be taken care of in one swoop, it will take several years to do it.
Arjun Singh: I don't know whether it can be taken care of straightway or in stages, that is a subject to be decided.
Karan Thapar: Let me ask you bluntly, if you were to agree to compensate for reservations for OBCs by increasing the number of seats, would that increase happen at one go, or would it be staggered over a period of two-three or four year old process.
Arjun Singh: As I told you, it is an issue that I cannot comment upon at this moment because that is under examination.
Karan Thapar: So, it may happen in one go and it may happen in a series of several years.
Arjun Singh: I can't speculate on that because that is not something on which I am free to speak on today.
Karan Thapar: Will the reservation for OBCs, whatever figure your Committee decides on, will it happen in one go, or will it slowly be introduced in stages?
Arjun Singh: That also I cannot say because as I told you, all these issues are under consideration.
Karan Thapar: Which means that everything that is of germane interest to the people concerned is at the moment 'under consideration' and the government is not able to give any satisfaction to the students who are deeply concerned.
Arjun Singh: That is not the point. The government knows what to do and it will do what is needed.
Karan Thapar: But if the government knows what to do, why won't you tell me what the government wants to do?
Arjun Singh: Because unless the decision is taken, I cannot tell you.
Karan Thapar: But you can share with me as the Minister what you are thinking.
Arjun Singh: No.
Karan Thapar: So, in other words, we are manitaining a veil of secrecy and the very people who are concerned...
Arjun Singh: I am not maintaining a veil of secrecy. I am only telling you what propriety allows me to tell you.
Karan Thapar: Propriety does not allow you to share with the people who are protesting on the streets what you are thinking?
Arjun Singh: I don't think that that can happen all the time.
Karan Thapar: But there are people who feel that their lives and their futures are at stake and they are undertaking fasts until death.
Arjun Singh: It is being hyped up, I don't want to go into that.
Karan Thapar: Do you have no sympathy for them?
Arjun Singh: I have every sympathy.
Karan Thapar: But you say it is being hyped up.
Arjun Singh: Yes, it is hyped up.
Karan Thapar: So, then, what sympathy are you showing?
Arjun Singh: I am showing sympathy to them and not to those who are hyping it up.
Karan Thapar: The CPM says that if the reservations for the OBCs are to happen, then what is called the creamy layer should be excluded. How do you react to that?
Arjun Singh: The creamy layer issue has already been taken care of by the Supreme Court.
Karan Thapar: That was vis -a-vis jobs in employment, what about at the university level, should they be excluded there as well because you are suggesting that the answer is yes?
Arjun Singh: That could be possible.
Karan Thapar: It could be possible that the creamy layer is excluded from reservations for OBCs in higher education?
Arjun Singh: It could be, but I don't know whether it would happen actually.
Karan Thapar: Many people say that if reservations for OBCs in higher education happen, then the children of beneficiaries should not be entitled to claim the same benefit.
Arjun Singh: Why?
Karan Thapar: So that there is always a shrinking base and the rate doesn't proliferate.
Arjun Singh: I don't think that that is a very logical way of looking at it.
Karan Thapar: Is that not acceptable to you?
Arjun Singh: No, it is not the logical way of looking at it.
Karan Thapar: So, with the possible exception of the creamy layer exclusion, reservation for OBCs in higher education will be almost identical to the existing reservations for SC/STs?
Arjun Singh: Except for the percentage.
Karan Thapar: Except for the percentage.
Arjun Singh: Yes.
Karan Thapar: So, in every other way, they will be identical.
Arjun Singh: Yes, in every other way.
Karan Thapar: Mr Arjun Singh, on the 5th of April when you first indicated that the Government was considering reservation for OBCs in higher education, was the Prime Minister in agreement that this was the right thing to do?
Arjun Singh: I think, there is a very motivated propaganda is on this issue. Providing reservation to OBCs was in the public domain right from December 2005, when Parliament passed the enabling resolution.
Karan Thapar: Quite true. But had the Prime Minister specifically agreed on or before 5th of April to the idea?
Arjun Singh: Well, I am telling you it was already there. A whole Act was made, the Constitution was amended and the Prime Minister was fully aware of what this is going to mean. Actually, he had a meeting in which OBC leaders were called to convince them that this would give them the desired advantage. And they should, therefore, support this resolution. And at that meeting, he himself talked to them. Now, how do you say that he was unaware?
Karan Thapar: But were you at all aware that the Prime Minister might be in agreement with what was about to happen but might not wish it disclosed publicly at that point of time? Were you aware of that?
Arjun Singh: It was already there in public domain, that's what I am trying to tell you.
Karan Thapar: Then answer this to me. Why are members of the PMO telling journalists that Prime Minister was not consulted and that you jumped the gun?
Arjun Singh: Well, I don't know which member of the PMO you are talking about unless you name him.
Karan Thapar: Is there a conspiracy to make you the fall guy?
Arjun Singh: Well, I don't know whether there is one or there is not. But fall guys are not made in this way. And I am only doing what was manifestly clear to every one, was cleared by the party and the Prime Minister. There is no question of any personal agenda.
Karan Thapar: They say that, in fact, you brought up this issue to embarrass the Prime Minister.
Arjun Singh: Why should I embarrass the Prime Minister? I am with him. I am part of his team.
Karan Thapar: They say that you have a lingering, forgive the word, jealousy because Sonia Gandhi chose Manmohan Singh and not you as Prime Minister.
Arjun Singh: Well, that is canard which is below contempt. Only that person can say this who doesn't know what kind of respect and regard I hold for Sonia Gandhi. She is the leader. Whatever she decides is acceptable to me.
Karan Thapar: They also say that you brought this issue up because you felt that the Prime Minister had been eating into your portfolio. Part of it had gone to Renuka Chaudhury and, in fact, your new deputy minister Purandar Sridevi had taken over certain parts. This was your way of getting back.
Arjun Singh: No one was taking over any part. This is a decision which the Prime Minister makes as to who has to have what portfolio. And he asked Mrs Renuka Devi to take it and he cleared it with me first.
Karan Thapar: So there is no animus on your part?
Arjun Singh: Absolutely not.
Karan Thapar: They say that you did this because you resented the Prime Minister's popular image in the country, that this was your way of embroiling him in a dispute that will make him look not like a modern reformer but like an old-fashioned, family-hold politician instead.
Arjun Singh: Well, the Tammany Hall political stage is over> He is our Prime Minister and every decision he has taken is in the full consent with his Cabinet and I don't think there can be any blame on him.
Karan Thapar: One, then, last quick question. Do you think this is an issue, which is a sensitive issue, where everyone knew there would have been passions and emotions that would have aroused has been handled as effectively as it should have been?
Arjun Singh: Well, I have not done anything on it. I have not sort of what you call jumped the gun. If this is an issue, which is sensitive, everyone has to treat it that way.
Karan Thapar: But your conscience as HRD Minister is clear?
Arjun Singh: Absolutely clear.
Karan Thapar: There is nothing that you could have done to make it easier for the young students?
Arjun Singh: Well, I am prepared to do anything that can be done. And it is being attempted.
Karan Thapar: For seven weeks, they have been protesting in the hot sun. No minister has gone there to appease them, to alley their concerns, to express sympathy for them. Have politicians let the young people of India down?
Arjun Singh: Well, I myself called them. They all came in this very room.
Karan Thapar: But you are the only one.
Arjun Singh: You are accusing me only. No one else is being accused.
Karan Thapar: What about the Government of India? Has the Government of India failed to respond adequately?
Arjun Singh: From the Government of India also, the Defence Minister met them.
Karan Thapar: Only recently.
Arjun Singh: That is something because everyone was busy with the elections.
Karan Thapar: For seven weeks no one met them.
Arjun Singh: No, but we are very concerned. Certainly, all of us resent the kind of force that was used. I condemned it the very first day it happened.
Karan Thapar: All right, Mr Arjun Singh. We have reached the end of this interview. Thank you very much for speaking on the subject.

Quota Sikka

"In Delhi, 94 medical students who were on a fast for 96 hours collapsed in the hunger strike. The media has been prohibited from covering this event, so he wanted me to forward it to as many people as possible."

"Subhash shrivastav (AIIMS Student ), has died b cos of hunger strike protesting against reservation & media is not covering it. Please pass to everyone you know. "

These are the SMSes that are doing the rounds from yesterday.

I believe that education and sports should be on the basis of merit, and merit alone. This lobbying, quotas...they have been used, misused and abused to such an extent that everything seems like a big farce. From the time I can remember, I can visualise my mom coaxing me to study well, for "we get only a meagre percentage of seats in good institutions, we are not eligible for any Quota. And we dont have that kind of money either. So if you don't study now, you CAN'T study later." I suppose it is the case with most of you guys of my generation, for whose parents, a program was a show on the television.

As a kid, I always wondered why anyone would need a quota, or any kind of reservation. Did it not make him start with a lacuna in his heart? Even if he did well, would he not feel the guilt that he did not run the whole race? And if he did not do well, did he not feel remorseful of denying a better person a chance to prove himself? My questions remain unanswered.

During my CET, I saw many of my friends who had a quota, but opted to take seats from the general category. They did not turn up on the dates scheduled for sports quota. Instead they came according to their ranks, on the day the general quota seat selection was on. Reason: They wanted to come up the stairs, and not make use of the lift.

And now this hullabaloo over the reservations in premier institutes of education. For "backward classes". Pray, someone please tell me who are these, and in what way they are backward. I can understand reservations for the physically handicapped, but branding a sizeable chunk of the nation's hale and hearty youth as 'backward', and giving them reservation teeters on the edge of absurdity.

If they are financially backward, by all means give them sops. Reduce their fees by 50%. In cases of exceptional performance, waive the whole fee amount, no issues. But why compromise on merit?

Reservation on basis of caste? Does birth determine performance? It only reeks of the rancid sectarian politics being played here. If you ask me, I would ask for removal of the caste field in every application there is, and have it introduced in the fee payment challan, so that the "backward classes" can avail financial benefit.

There was a protest march arranged in Pune yesterday, from University circle to Corporation circle. In case you missed it, you can sign an online petition here. And there is a blackout planned today from 2000 to 2015 hrs. All lights, TV, mobiles will be switched off, protesting Arjun Singh, and the Government of India, who failed to respond adequately to the youth of the nation, which is sitting hungry in the hot sun. A government which persists with its reservation policy, which has proved to be its "Quota Sikka".

PS: In the deepest of my heart, I wish this agitation will wake some sane mind in the government, and lead to abolition of quota, altogether making merit alone, the deciding factor.

Cross-posted in Pune Bloggers.

The beginning of the end

Anth ki shuruaat hamesha aise hi hoti hai...

We five came to Pune together, some twenty months back.

Literally, sitting in side-by-side compartments in the same bogie. It is another matter that three of us did not know the other two. Much amusement resulted when, after knowing each other and becoming a single family-like entity, three of us saw OURSELVES in the snaps which the other two had taken at the railway station.

Pune station saw me whipping out a cellphone and dialling a number to get the address of our hotel, while he went in half-pants to get a bottle of water, and another guy was writing down the address on a folded newspaper, and the other two were stretching their legs, which had become numb from the journey of 20 hours. Little did we know then, that we would forge such bonds with each other.

And even though two speak a bad dialect of Telugu, and one speaks Tamil, and two others, Kannada, the language was the first binding factor, which made us stay together. In the hotel accomodation, and then the company accomodation, and now in the flat we are currently in. And this has been a good reason why we don't miss Bangalore so much, because all the time, we speak in Kannada. A very close friend of mine, who visited us recently, went back happy saying that she got to speak in kannada for a full three days, which she seldom gets to do in Hyderabad.

Over time, we forged relationships with others here, and formed a boisterous group, exploring places around Pune every other weekend, to such an extent that if we think of going anywhere now, it would be a repeat. It was a tough time finding a table for lunch, because we all had to sit together. We were twelve: We five, the three of them, the symbol, the Goa-belle, the kudi-punjaban and Chechi. Others would join when we went on trips, and much fun would come.

As a group, we have covered forts (Sinhgad, Tapola-Pratapgarh), hill stations (Khandala, Lonavala, Karla Caves, Mahabaleshwar, Panchgani), beaches (Alibag, Murud-Janjira, Dive-Agar and Goa) and pilgrimages (Narayanpur Balaji, Baneshwar Ganpati, Shirdi Sai Baba). But all good things have to come to an end. And this I guess is the beginning of it.

The Goa-belle left to pursue higher studies. Her friend Varun got a transfer to Bangalore. One of those three went to California. Wedding bells are ringing for another one of those three. Kudi-Punjaban and "one of us" are in the UK. Today, we happened to sit at a very long table for snacks. And it reminded us of a time when twelve people actually sat across and cracked jokes. When we devoured plate after plate of whatever each one of us brought. When we actually checked what the others ate, so that we could bring something else, so as to not repeat a dish. When all of us ended up bringing the same dish, because nothing else was good.

I could almost hear the talk, the laughter, and the mirth. Like when we sat dining till the canteen lights went out. Like when we were the last to go out of a restaurant. Like when we saw to it that the girls went home, before walking back together. Like when ...

Omar Khayyam says in the Rubaiyat:
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

And now, he has a got a call from another company, and its an offer he can't refuse. And if he goes by the 1st, as they want him to, it will leave just the three of us here.

And that will surely be the beginning of the end. Of a vivid, vibrant, colourful chapter in our lives.

Update: Links have been removed, because the linked persons had some reservations.

Currently listening to

Ya Ali...Raham Ali...Ya Ali, Yaar pe kurbaan hai sabhi,
Ya Ali...Madad Ali...Ya Ali, ye meri jaan, ye zindagi,
Ishq pe haan, mita doon, luta doon main apni khudi,
Yaar pe haan, luta doon, mita doon main ye hasti.

Ya Ali...Raham Ali...Ya Ali, Yaar pe kurbaan hai sabhi,
Ya Ali...Madad Ali...Ya Ali, ye meri jaan, ye zindagi...

Mujhe kuch pal de kurbat ke, fakir ham teri chaahat ke.
Rahein bechain dil kab tak? Mile kuch pal to raahat ke.
Chaahat pe, Ishq pe haan, mita doon, luta doon main apni khudi,
Yaar pe haan, luta doon, mita doon main ye hasti.

Ya Ali...Raham Ali...Ya Ali, Yaar pe kurbaan hai sabhi,
Ya Ali...Madad Ali...Ya Ali, ye meri jaan, ye zindagi...

Bina tere na ek pal ho, na bin tere kabhi kal ho.
Ye dil ban jaaye patthar ka, na isme koi hulchul ho.
Sanam pe haan, Ishq pe haan, mita doon, luta doon main apni khudi,
Kasam se haan, luta doon, mita doon main ye hasti.

Ya Ali...Raham Ali...Ya Ali, Yaar pe kurbaan hai sabhi,
Ya Ali...Madad Ali...Ya Ali, ye meri jaan, ye zindagi...

Got wind that this was a direct lift from a song "Ya Ghally" by Arabic band GUITARA. Also, other songs of Gangster, Lamha Lamha and Tu hi meri shab hai, are also seemingly "inspired" by Kal shab dekha and Sacral Nirvana. More dirt and inspired songs here. Beware, for like Shruthi, you might end up finding out that so many of your fave songs were, alas, second-hand stuff.

But personally, it didn't make any difference to me. This is some great music here, and I first heard it as "Ya Ali", and I liked it. If I had heard it as 'Ya Ghally', may be I would have loved it then, and cried foul now.

The debate on liking plagiarised stuff, and not acknowledging the original will go on and on, but all said and done, this song here ROCKETH.

Viky avarinda modalane ardhashataka...

Ok, this is my fiftieth post here. In order to make it special, this is in vernacular.

eega kelawu dina keLage, nanu nanna friend na keLde..."Enappa samachara bengaLooru hegide?". awa reply maaDida "Lo Viky, bengaLooru poorti kelawu jeevanada sathyagaLu rounDu hoDitaide".

nanu shake aade...yoonu yavaglinda jeevana, tatva anta hoda anta...amele mail bantu...

jeevanada sathyagaLu : aagatto? aagalvo?

1. bus hodre bus sTanDu alle irutte, adre cycle hodre, sTanDu jotege hogatte.
2. neenu bussalli hattidru, bussu ninmele hattidru, ticket thagoLodu neene.
3. ticket thagonDu oLage hogodu 'cinema theatre', oLage hogi ticket thagoLodu 'operation theatre'.
4. cellnalli BALANCE illa andre CALL maDakke agalla, manushyange CALL illa andre BALANCE maDakke agalla.
5. train eshTe faaaasTagi hodru, kone bogie barodu konegene.
6. cream biscuit madhya cream iratte, adre beNNe biscuit madhya beNNe iratta?
7. naayige naalakku kaale irabahudu, adre adikke kaal mele kaalu haki koothkoLakke agatta?
8. soLLe kachchidre 'aane kaalu' barutte...adre aane kachchdre 'soLLe kaalu' barutta?
9. hattu iruve seri ondu aane na kachbahudu...aadre hattu aane seri ondu iruve na kachchake agatta?

adu haage irli biDi, nange idella sumaru SMSgaLu bantu....along with 'suryange torcha?', 'saraswatige tuitionna?' thara messages. ella odi sumaru maja bantu...adre yelladikkintha maja bandiddu namma AYHAY dialogue gaLalli....(AYHAY anta nanna roomie, ille pune li biddu vaddaDtidda, eega London nalli Thames neeralli snana maDtane...bere nu eno maDtane, adre adirli)

hmm, onsala ayhay sakkat chaLi li walking hogidnante. thara-thara naDugiso chaLi li avanige allello dooradalli ondu bajji-gaDi kaaNtu. "ohoho" ankonDu ayhay gaaDi kaDe hoda....eNNe banDli pakka meNsinkai, baLekai aloogeDDe ella bajji ittu...
ayhay - "saar, bisi en ide?"
bajji-awa - "saar, takshNakke, eNNe bisi ide".

ayhay alle flaatu.

onsala aytalla, sumne irbeku taane. illa. huDuk-buddhi elli hogatte? hoda namma krishna bakery kaDe ge. shelf nalli line agi jentuppada bottle iTTiddru. togobekagiddu one pound breaddu. taleharTege keLda -
ayhay - "saar, jentuppaddu bottle eshTu beeLatte?"
bakery-awa - "en saar heege keLtira? beeLsidre ella beeLatte."

hangandidde taDa, breaddu etkonDu oDu...

Sadly, inonsolpa "gems" collect maDoNa anno ashtralli London ge relocate agbiTTidane...irli...en barode ilwa? bandre mataDode ilwa? awanu mataDidmele innenu...avnu heLodu hechcho, nanu illi bariyodu hechcho?

PS: title nalli modalanedu yake andre nanu eraDu mooru kaDe baritini....God willing, and Me willing, nanu allu on fifty hoDitini....

10 words, right from the heart

It goes this way: You comment on this, and I give you a letter. On your blog, write ten words beginning with that letter, describing what those words mean to you. If the words are esoteric, or you are giving your GRE in the near future, you can include the meanings as well. Chandni gave me 'D', so here goes...

Dreams: ... where your imagination shapes up and you feel motivated to achieve something. It is in dreams that you visualise your future. It is in dreams that you paint vivid pictures, which push you to raise the bar every single time. And it is in dreams that you do things the first time, before doing in actual life.

Dance: ... it is such a blissful sensation to see the perfect sync of limbs. To see the way the body gracefully sways to the rhythm, and reaches a peak where the mind, the body and the music resonate together, building up the tempo to the final crescendo.

Date: The first one, to be precise. The silent probing, the getting to know each other, the joy at finding something in common, the ease at which differences are accepted, the dry humour, the one-upmanship, the tingling tension, the dressing up for the date, the stolen glances when the other is occupied...SIGH...Some memories are so fresh...

Dawn: ... the cool breeze tickling the leaves and awakening the birds with its whispers, the light mist which makes you feel as if you were the first person on this virgin piece of land, the distant chants of "suprabhatam" in MSS's mellifluous voice, the birds which chirp in accompaniment as you come back from a jog, and the refreshing taste of the just-made tea at the chaiwalla down the road.

Dew: ... It makes the leaves look like they have been studded with diamonds, it wets your feet in such a way that you don't know whether they are wet or not, and the way you flick it onto your face, and enjoy the feeling as the drops run down your cheeks.

Drive: Be it ripping on the highway on my bike, or cruising along in a car, listening to great music, driving gives me the ultimate high. Forget driving in the city, to experience a good drive, you have to get away from the city, and pick a direction (not a destination). Driving alone is best, but nothing like it if you can take your partner out for a drive. (Love the Alto ad, where they drive up a cliff, and have tea on the top)

Donuts: Okay, I meant koDbaLe....because I love them so very much.

deja vu: ... when you know you have felt this, but don't know when, or where. It gives me a strange eerie feeling sometimes, and sometimes I am left biting my tongue at my follies.

Defeat: ... it is the the thing that makes you go further, push harder, do better. It is the backbone of every success you have had. It is responsible for so many decisions you take. It is the fire that hardens the steel in you.

And finally

Death: ... it is so mysterious. So dark. So cold. So sudden, that we shudder to think of what may befall our loved ones. So unknown, that we fear it, unconsciously.

One leg at a time

Came across this in some forward I received -

"If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day's Tremor and eventually cause the earth's crust to break apart and float into space.

This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time."

Whew... in case you can't see me at eye-level, look down. I'm on the floor.

Fatal Fratricide

Pravin Mahajan: Poor brother of a rich, illustrious and media-loved icon of Indian politics, Pramod Mahajan. Moderately successful builder in Mumbai, and consultant to several companies of the likes of Reliance Infocomm. Drank occasionally. A caring father, a loving husband and yet, was the black sheep of the family. Was repeatedly slighted and ill treated by his more famous sibling, yet he adored his Pramod dada. Journo Sreevalsan Menon walks down the memory lane and remembers him as a technology hungry person who thought highly of his brother and praised him at every oppurtunity. Like all of us, he loved the good life. On April 22, he walked into his brother's bedroom and pumped three bullets into him at point-blank range.

Pramod Mahajan: The most lovable face of the BJP front runners. Aspired for the top post in 2014 elections. Has a coterie of people following his cellphone-and-laptop toting persona, but none have words of praise for him. Courts controversies like the pickle on his curd rice. Accused of brokering deals in the corridors of power. Leads a high profile life, which goes against the basic principles he learnt in the RSS. Accused of favouring Reliance during his tenure as the Communications minister in the NDA government. Found many-a-time dining and wining with media moguls and industry bigwigs. Was accused to have extra-marital relations with slain journalist Shivani Bhatnagar (in fact, Madhu Sharma, wife of RK Sharma, screamed all over the TV asking for the whereabouts of Pramod Mahajan at the time of Shivani's murder).

Like chalk and cheese, these two brothers' lives hardly match. One struggled to make ends meet and led a normal middle class life in Mumbai. The other led a high-profile life with multiple cellphones and plotted party tactics on laptops. One was a model neighbour (The next door lady went public on TV saying "Achche log they. Hamare liye to bahut hi achchey they.") The other was too busy for family (He asked his brother to meet him by taking appointments with his secretary). One always sang praises of his brother (Ask Sreevalsan Menon, about the trip to Germany). The other always slighted and ignored him (Pramod continued reading the paper after he saw Pravin, and allegedly mistook him to be a newspaper boy).

There was no property at stake, there were no ill feelings. Yet if a non-criminal like Pravin goes into his beloved brother's bedroom and shoots him down, it means there was a strong reason for him to get rid of Pramod. And look at the stoic replies he gives the police. That he was repeatedly mistreated by his brother, that he was ignored at family functions, that he had debts to clear and his brother didn't help him. Very normal reasons to pick a fight perhaps, but fail miserably as reasons for murder.

And he was mentally stable enough to give himself up and court arrest. Is he trying to hide something? Something big enough to kill his own brother, and then by giving himself up, diverting attention towards himself, and away from both the families. The media too, talks of only the brothers, and nothing about the families. It reeks of the feeling that Pravin wants to save his and his brother's families of an embarassment, much bigger than a brother-killed-brother saga.

Add this to the fact that the money from Pravin's consultancy (about Rs 70000 per month) was remitted to his wife Sarangi's account. And that Pramod Mahajan had acquired shares of a prominent company in his sister-in-law Sarangi's name. And that the police say that the murder was pre-meditated. Keeping in mind Pramod's high profile life, and the accusations in Shivani murder case, it puts a weird feeling in my mind.

Did Pramod Mahajan have an affair with his brother's wife Sarangi?

Bangalored

Some of you may feel that an undying horse is being flogged again (borrowed the line from Magnolic) but nevertheless, an interesting conversation going on here.

Homecoming

She was waiting for him. It had been long since he had passed her way, by visiting or otherwise. Her love had accumulated over time, and was threatening to spill from her eyes. Longing was taking a toll on her. Then he came. Like a wayward son returning home, he came into her folds, and her brimming love broke all restraint and out came the tears, like a torrential deluge, as she welcomed him back.

I reached Mysore today. And three days of overcast clouds rained in all their splendour.

16 hours on the NH-4

Yoo hoo and a bottle of rum...

Harsha was giving high recommendations to Sharma Travels, and I can see now why. Minutes after Harsha and Gokul had lugged my bag into the bus, the bus started, and the powerful AC cooled the whole cabin in minutes. It was already 12 by the time we hit the ghats on the outskirts of Pune, so I guess that may have been the reason he did not play any movie at night. Blankets and bottles given, the lights were dimmed and then put off, and the only thing audible was the slow hum of the AC, which combined with the chilled ambience, put everyone to sleep.

Not me though, cos the seat I got was not fully reclining, and so I was feeling very uncomfortable. The girl next to me was accomodating enough to let me put my legs to the far end of her leg-space, so that I could doze off in a diagonal position, with my head on the window. I remember being awake till 1, because I was continuing a SMS conversation with a birthday gal. Then, fatigue overtook me, and the next thing I knew was daylight on my face through the window. The girl next to me was still asleep, complete with the blanket over her head to prevent the sun. I did the same and slept for another hour or so, before dad called me.

Presently he stopped for breakfast, and for once, it was not a stinky roadside hotel. The places where these KSRTC people stop, you know instantaneously where the toilet is, thanks to the stench emanating from it. Here, however, I had to ask, and to my pleasant surprise, the toilets were clean, the water was clear, and the food, sumptuous. It atleast leaves you with the comforting feeling that you got your money's worth. The place he stopped was a Reliance A-1 Outlet, methinks its Reliance's answer to Club HP "Achcha lagta hai" pit-stops on Pune-Mumbai expressway, with hotels and toilet facilities along with re-fuelling stations.

Lunch was again at a Reliance A-1, 50 kms away from Bangalore. By this time, I had seen Rang De Basanti and Malamaal Weekly. Thank God, I did not watch the latter movie in the theatres. Sucks big-time. This starts where the climax of Hungama ends (with all those people shaking and shouting in a bout of electric discharge). If it were not for the gal next to me, I would have pulled my hair out. During the course of the movie, I learnt that she was from Dombivili in Mumbai, and was working in some small company in Pune, and had got a new job in Cygnus software. Before joining there, she wanted to take a break and was visiting her brother in Bangalore.

Movies and Conversations over, the speakers started churning out FM, and after a long time, I heard the class of Bangalore RJs. Radio Mirchi RJs in Pune suck big time. Then the cleaner came and started announcing the stops in Bangalore, and she got off somewhere near Navrang, and a few more minutes later, me too gathered all my bags and headed home. It had taken fifteen and a half hours from Pune to Bangalore, pretty good enough. Comfortable seats, warm blankets, cool AC and neat stop-overs. Sharma is good, after all.

I will be going to Mysore tomorrow.

And by the way, this post is from my new notebook via a GPRS connection on the cell.

I'm off...

An old friend's engagement.
One long pending visit to a friend's new house.
One visit to the school, with school-friends.
One drive to the college, and one cutting chai in the canteen.
One meal at the dhaba, just like the old times.
Two re-unions.
Dozens of movies on my new notebook.
Hours of wi-fi internet at Cafe Coffee Day, Kalidasa Road.
Scores of photos on Harsha's Nikon.
and
a helluva catching up is all I want to do in Mysore.

Yes, I'm off to Mysore, and will be back in Pune on May 02nd. Will keep posting, though.

That Was The Week That Was

For the long-ishness of the previous post, it is but justified that I take a long break.

Anyway, last Saturday saw Rupa flying to Ipswich, and Rakshith will be flying some time next week.

Had been to Mumbai to see Rupa off, and for what little time I was there, and for what little I saw of the city, I fell in love with it. The power it exudes, the pace at which it moves...makes me shake my head in awe. Not that I dislike Pune, but Mumbai is Mumbai. Pune is incomparable. Its like comparing Mysore to Bangalore. One is a cultural stronghold, the other is the moolah-machine.

More on that in another post. Coming back home, we sacked our maid, and got a new one in her place. The old maid's lethargy had made us so bluntly tolerant, that now, the new one's routine work seems like a luxury.

And since afternoon, I am happy, because work-wise, there is nothing for me to finish before proceeding on leave. So all I did for the later half of the day was read her. I came across the link via desipundit, and I am not getting enough. Do read her stories. They are short, sweet, and leave you with your head tilted, saying "Awww".

And I am a part of Pune Bloggers now.

Love, Marriage and the Arrangements

Last weekend saw one of my friends attending a "groom-showing" ceremony. That's because she would be the bride in the equation. Somehow, this thing of "seeing" a bride/groom intrigues me no end. There is the tingling feeling of whom you may meet, whether the chemistry would be instant, or would fizz out like a half-opened can of beer.

I listened with keen interest as she kept on telling me details of their conversation, just the two of them. It was like the first date, only that this was a kind of family-arranged "blind" date. Breaking the ice, the hesitation, the urge to show your dry humor once the other person drops his/her guard, the deliberate need to make the other person feel comfortable...all this makes you kinda ecstatic. Its also true that you are put off if the other person is not responsive enough, but still...the quest to find a topic on which you can speak on and on, the exchanging of phone numbers, the talking late into nights...seems like a dream, but I have seen many such arranged blind dates flourish and blossom beautifully.

But there is the flip side too. What happens when there is a mismatch? What happens when all the late night talks and tingle were just the initial excitement, where you had this guard on, and after marriage, you drop your guard, to find a different person altogether? Then, you are too late to back out as well, and you resort to compromise. I am not against compromise, nor am I suggesting that relationships be damned at a drop of a hat, without taking the effort to make them work, but there is only so much you can do.

Take for example, what the man of few words says. Three years of bliss, would you want to throw it away. Three years of understanding each other, aligning yourself, and honing yourself, with the objective of spending all your life with the partner of your choice...would you want to throw it away, without making it work? I refrain from advising or suggesting anything to that couple, but I do think that when you feel you have made your choice, when you like a person so much that you want to spend your life with him/her, then caste, creed and all such things don't really matter. And for those to whom it matters, they have to realise that its a conscious decision you have made, and for all you are worth, your decision needs to be respected.

You may give me the argument that in an Indian context, a person marries a family, and not an individual. If you have such close ties with your family, why don't they give your decision the respect it deserves? Why don't they realise that while you searched out your partner, you have thought about them as well. Because for all the times they have been there for you, and made you the man/woman you are, you obviously would see to it that your partner respects and cares for them, along with you.

I am not saying love marriages always work out. All I'm saying is, in love, you can see where it is going. Consider twins. One falls in love, while the other "sees" a boy/girl and gets engaged. Both carry on for three months, getting to know their respective partners. Then, if the first finds that the partner is diametrically opposite to her/his persona, (s)he always has the chance to finish it, and back out with no hard feelings. No strings attached (pun unintended). The other is stuck with his/her polar opposite for life. (I of course, am not implying that things dont work out if the other person is totally opposite. In fact, its a good thing, helps understand each other better)

Here again, you may argue that the second one may have had a fruitful relationship, in spite of all the differences, due to compromises made. Point taken, but there are innumerable examples always. There are love marriages which ended in splitsville. And there are love marriages which worked out beautifully. And there are arranged marriages which worked out beautifully. And there are arranged marriages which were broken in court. And there are love marriages which got the consent of elders and became love-cum-arranged marriages. And there are live-ins. And there are couples who live separately. And extra-maritals. And on and on and on.

Compromises are made everywhere. There are voluntary compromises, which you do, to prevent a relationship going bad . There are frown-on-the-face compromises which you do, to prevent a bad relationship from going worse. There are things you do because your loved one wants you to. Similarly there are things you dont do because your loved one does not want you to. There are women who chuck their job, to look after the child. There are men, who tend the house when the wife is working (Arshad Warsi's is a notable example. He tended his child for two years, without a job, when they felt Maria Goretti's job was more important).

All said and done, things work out if you want them to. And it may take a lot of convincing, and groundwork before commitment. And love marriages give you an excellent platform. I know girls who want to be in a relationship, but are shackled by parental rules. I know girls who have honestly told the family about their plans ahead. Love marriages provide you with a chance to understand each other completely before committing yourself for life. I know for a fact (girls have told me in interesting discussions) that girls are more comfortable going to bed with someone they know, and trust their love and life with, than being undressed by a person they met a week, a month or even three months before.

I am not drawing this discussion to sex without reason. I believe that any relationship founded on sex is not strong enough. What if the guy has some expectations, and the girl, in her apprehensions (she's already naked with a stranger-of-three-months) does not live up to it. Will it not affect their relationship. Is it worth losing a lifetime of sleep over one night of staying awake? Marriage is not just about being good in bed. I believe that sex comes at the culmination of a relationship. The topmost level. The zenith. It gives you complete freedom, and an exulting feeling when your partner is someone whom you love, whom you care for, whom you can trust your life with, for whose happiness you will give up the world.

And this is where arranged marriages tend to falter (Remember, I'm not saying they fail). More often than not, they start with a compromise. And fare for the better or worse.

After a lot of detours and interesting roadblocks (read thought-blocks), I come to the same point where I was. One of my friends attended a "groom-seeing" ceremony last weekend. And both sides have "OK"ed it. The dates have not yet been finalised, but two more people are bidding farewell to their singlehood this season. Happy Married Life. *Raises glass*

Jammy's April Fool Prank

Ouchmytoe is back on its heels, or rather, toes again.

Jammy had put up a prank on April Fools Day, he blocked his own blog site, giving his readers a big shock. Not this one, of course...

He had "replaced Ouchmytoe blog's code with that of Rediffblogs. This was done after I had saved Ouchmytoe's code (both in "my documents" and in the Gmail server). Now my Blog looked like Rediffblog home. But there was something missing "how would I know who got fooled and who didnt" I definitely had to bring in a feature that would allow visitors to leave comments - documented proof that the prank had worked. The presence of this feature wouldn't have worked by itself. I needed to build a story around why I could have been blocked. Which is why I left the first comment - This is such a flimsy reason to block my site. I didn't agree to write for you because you don't pay well...and that was it. I didn't realize you would go to the extent of blocking my site! This is the heights...."

But he left too many loose ends...first of all, he gave everyone a warning two days beforehand that he was planning some prank. And on D-Day, instead of getting redirected to Rediff page, the browser was still showing the ouchmytoe address, and thirdly he had left his hit counter in a remote corner of the page, visible only when scrolled down.

Nevertheless, the prank was a good one, going by the number of horrified comments "You should have shifted to blogspot when you had the time","This is eerie" and all, it had hit the bull's eye.

Farewell Season

The farewell season seems to have begun. In its fullest form.

Soon after Shan left, Niral left Pune for Bangalore, in preparation for her higher studies abroad. Varun will be leaving Pune on April 7th, again to Bangalore on a transfer from Geometric. Good luck both of you.

Last week, Kavash left the company, and Pune, for Fidelity, Bangalore (yet again). He got a lucrative package, they tell me. Good for him. After Balivada, he is the first one to leave the batch after completion of training, and as it seems, he may just be the start of the exodus. Farewell, mate, and good luck.

Deep bid a farewell of a different kind. To bachelorhood. Last week, Deep and Nupur made it known that they would marry each other on July 12 in Ranchi. Its always a nice feeling to see the twosome, who spent so much time with each other, tie the knot and look together at the future. Happy married life, both of you.

And finally, and most importantly, Ayhay flew to London today. From Friday, all I saw of him was a huffy puffy mass going around from floor to floor getting his paperwork done. Considering that it this was his first flight ever, the whole of Saturday we shopped for him, from underwear to overcoats, until we were dog tired and the bill threatened to run towards the wrong side of five figures.

That makes two in my flat who went to the UK. Must be something with the room. Me shifting to the other room too... :) Anyway, Crazy Frog (because he loves the Ding Ding) will be back on May 27th. Gives me some time to compose a long list...*evil grin*

Bengal and Indian English literature

Shobhaa De: Arguably India's most recognised woman writer. Popular for her sauce-n-sleaze novels like "Sultry Days", "Starry Nights", "Socialite Evenings" etc. Comes across in her columns as a hardcore feminist, though she has herself said she's not a male basher.

Jhumpa Lahiri: Most promising writer on the Indian fiction front. Pulitzer Prize in 2000 for "Interpreter of Maladies". Her other novel "The Namesake" is being made into a movie of the same name by Mira Nair.

Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni: American Book Award in 1996 for "Arranged Marriage". Other novels include "The Mistress of Spices" (being made into a movie of the same name, starring Ash Rai) and "Sister of my Heart" (being made into a Tamil soap by Suhasini Maniratnam).

Sagarika Ghose: Senior Editor with the Indian Express, and prior to that, worked as a journalist for The Times of India and Outlook. Her first novel "The Gin Drinkers" is a comedy of manners set in Delhi’s cocktail circuit. Second novel "Blind Faith" will hit the stands late this year. Married to Rajdeep Sardesai of CNN-IBN.

Gayatri Mazumdar: Worked as a journalist at the Press Trust of India, The Independent, All India Radio and Debonair (where she also edited the Poetry Page). Her first Anthology of Poems (in English) - "Shout" - has recently been published by Sampark, New Delhi, India. It includes her poems written since she was nineteen till the most recent ones.

Bharati Mukherjee: National Book Critics' Circle Award for best fiction for "The Middleman and Other Stories". She has taught creative writing at Columbia University, New York University, and and Queens College, and is currently professor of English at the University of California at Berkeley

Do you see what I see? Make a list of women writers of India, and these would prominently figure in the list. All of them have a Bengali connection, having born or being educated in Calcutta. Those who are abroad are either first generation emigrants (Bharati, Chitra) or were born to Indian parents (Jhumpa).

The connection reflects in their writings too. I haven't read Sagarika, Gayatri or Bharati, yet. But Chitra and Jhumpa's writing teem with the Bengali flavour. In "Arranged Marriage", Chitra brings out beautifully the angst of a would-be Bengali brides, her romantic longing for a Mills-and-Boons type guy to sweep her off her feet, the elaborate rituals of the conservative Bengali family, the vivid expressions of a new bride in an unknown US city, where the only other Bengali she knows is her husband...

Jhumpa too conjures the same magic in "The Namesake". In the uncertainty of a young girl who settles with her husband in the US, and how she misses the wide terraces of her ancestral home in Calcutta, she brings out the taste of Bengal through minute descriptions of the food and living. The once-a-year visits to Calcutta, the other Bengali families, who live cities apart, but gather for celebration of Naba Barsha and Durga Pujo as if they were relatives...

Shobhaa De, however tries to keep the connection toned down in her writings, but occasionally it does show up in some of her columns. Shobhaa, in any case, converts all her novels into a feminist, male bashing conundrum. I have read a couple of her novels, and believe me, I never went ahead of her sex-sleaze-scorned woman-male bashing angle.

These writers, combined with the likes of Vikram Seth, Amitava Ghosh et al prods me to look in awe at the contribution of Bengal to Indian English literature. Add a bygone era and you have innumerable stalwarts to adorn your list.

Is it just coincidence, or is it something with the Bengali life and roots?

Happiness Abounds

The sun is that bit more brighter today, the wind has a song in it. There is a spring in my feet as I sweat it out on the treadmill. My most recent poems find their place in Starlit Nights. My laptop has been upgraded with an extra 512, and is ready for my exploits. I have been granted leaves, so I'm headed home for a long vacation of 20 days starting April 14 (nahi, shaadi nahi ho rahi hai meri...).

And yes, its one more year, and I thank you, people for keeping my cell beeping and ringing...

Yoo Hoo

YES!!! My swanky new, fully loaded notebook was delivered to me.

After a lot of deliberation, and hours of company internet spent on shortlisting the various models of HP on offer, I had settled for a dv1386TU model. As luck would have it, the model was being phased out by HP, and they gave me a better configuration at a reasonably lesser rate. Combined with Srik's employee discount, I got it at almost a steal.

Allow me now to yap on my newest toy. Its a dv1624TN, the latest stallion from the HP stable. Its powered by a 1.66 GHz Intel Core Solo processor, and has a 512 MB RAM ( I'm adding one more 512 MB to the other slot ). Storage is an ample 80 GB, and comes with a DVD Writer. It also has a 6-in-1 media card reader, 3 USB ports and the normal I/O ports. It weighs 2.4 kgs and has an integrated webcam and microphone. 2 headphone jacks see to it that you dont have to watch a movie sharing your headphones.

The best part is it comes with Quickplay, which means that if all you need to do is play DVD / VCD / ACD / mp3 CD or movies/music from the HDD, you need not boot the PC up. It works like a normal DVD player, and comes with a remote too, which you can tuck in the PCMCIA slot, when not needed. A set of headphones are included. XPH is pre-loaded.

Looks are gorgeous, silver on the outside and black on the inside. Media buttons come with a blue backlight, and so do the status lights. The front panel is very aesthetically designed and slopes forward like the hood of a car, giving it that extra sleek look.

I'm just ogling at it from the past three days, will yap more on this later.

Full Circle

I guess this is what you call coming around a full circle.

Some time in the past, I had created an account in Orkut. I even added a few friends, and scrapped here and there, to get a hang of it. But then I realised, it was getting painstakingly difficult to reach out to everyone at once, I have had to scrap the same things in quite a few scrapbooks...

Moreover, firewalls blocked Orkut, and I switched to blogs. When a very close friend visited me recently, she said all our school friends could be reached through Orkut, and said she had added my name, but rarely saw me operational on Orkut.

That did it. Now I want to be on Orkut, but can't. That's because I forgot my username. Now I am searching high and low for my old username, but I am not finding it. Even Orkut is not helping me out :((

Anyway, now that the firewalls have been relaxed, I have created a new profile on Orkut and all you people out there on Orkut, add the newer profile...there are two profiles, don't get confused, both are ME only.

Also, I created a new blog on blogspot, for my literary side. Named Starlit Nights, this blog will carry my poems, and the little bit of fiction I have managed to write. The link is http://undertheshiningstars.blogspot.com.

Adios

Farewell

Today again we were playing Reply-All, and the topic was on the snap taken on the weekend Shanthi left.

The first thing I noticed about Shan when I met her was her hair. Long, strong and silky. I have used the same words in orkut as well, but I will let that be. The ultimate buggable creature, Shan was the best person to try your dry humour on. Good soul that she was, she never took it to heart. Which made us raise the bar higher and higher.

The first of those started when she accompanied us to Mahabaleshwar, and was doing a Rajnikanth sitting in the front seat. From the road to the Narayanpur temple, to the cliffs of Mahabaleshwar and Panchgani, I bugged her no end. That was the start of a beautiful relationship, which parted ways a couple of weeks back.

Mahabaleshwar to Shirdi to Dive Agar to Goa to Khandala-Lonavala, we had so much fun. Like the time when we always teased her about her college where there is gender discrimination, even in college buses (girls sit on left side, boys sit on right side ... girls dont wear trousers, boys dont wear t-shirts ... girls boys dont talk, or you fail in the exams) ... like the time when we hitched a ride in Goa, and her eyes went wide as she said "Lorry?"... like the time when we walked back from Senapati Bapat road after devouring pizzas...

Like the time we teased her about her innumerable "boyfriends" here ... like the time her mom served her a few more dosas when she tried to say "no" in kannada ... like the time she said she would lose weight by walking, and it rained on the day she decided to walk ... like the time we splashed her name all over the office, and in the newsletter on her birthday during the annual pre-bash ... like the time when Ayhay sang a song for her in the canteen ... like the time when she applied mehndi on Sushma's hands...

Putting mehndi was one thing she did superbly, every two-three weeks her room mates used to show their hands "See, Shan put this...".

At times giving you gyan(She's Sun certified Java, mind you), at times dumber than the "dumbest blonde joke ever", she was one heck of a person to be with. She had this rickety old laptop, which would run only on AC, nevertheless it was our only means to watch movie after movie (only one movie...number of times...thanks to Beryle) on innumerable weekend afternoons. It also helped Gokul to study for his Interwoven test. Stupid gal took it with her, even though it was adding 4 kgs to her already heavily overweight luggage.

A constant companion in our pizza outings, Shan always comes when we talk of US. And with Shan comes McKinsey. And her Vince mama. And her meeting with the Pope. And the awesome plum (read rum) cakes she got from Pondy.

Chechi will miss her for the time she spent with her, Gokul will remember her for the fellow LT she was, Vidya and Beryle will remember her for obvious reasons, and the rest of us will remember her for the person she was. A nice friend, a warm hearted lovable girl who never hurt anybody, Shan left Pune two weeks back for "green"er pastures in the US. And I wish her goodluck, and hope our paths cross again in the future.

Holi Hai

Holi khele raghubeera...awadh mein...holi khele raghubeera...

Happy Holi.

Pride or Shame

March 13 will be a landmark day for the Indian armed forces. For the first time in its history, a lady officer will command the Passing Out Parade at Armed Forces Medical College here. 34-year-old Wahida Prizm from Jammu & Kashmir is the daughter of a teacher in Rajouri who was gunned down by militants in 2001. Born in a middle-class family at village Thanna Mandi on March 11, 1972, she was commissioned into the Indian Navy on November 10, 1997, after passing her MBBS from Jammu Medical College. Their saga of valour does not end there, in fact, it runs in the family. Her husband Major M F F Khan is a former short-service commission officer, and her sister is an inspector with the J&K police force. Read the full story here.

The double murder of a lawyer Anuratha Mahajan, and her mother Swarana Mahajan, who was also a lawyer, has once again triggered debate on Delhi being a safe city for single women. Swarana was a widow, while Anuratha had separated from her husband, and both women were living together in the flat in which they were murdered. The commercial capital Mumbai too saw the rape of a 52 year old woman, on the pretext of offering her a lift.

Is it just a coincidence that whenever we have reason to hold our head high in pride, an equally or more disastrous act weighs it down in shame.

Blank Noise Project and Women's Day

I came across this Blank Noise Project via a link from other blogs. When I read about Annie's street harassment, and Hema's single-girl-on-a-train post, I can only say "SORRY" for being a part of the "male" society which left a scar on their persona. I know it doesn't help, but there is only so much we can do. I have been in such situations before, and when you say all this, I can only say "I agree" and hang my head in shame.

There was this time when I was teaching my cousin to ride a bicycle, sitting on the carrier behind, and guys from the street behind passed filthy comments. "Teaching her to ride ... from the behind". My cousin was probably too young to understand it, or may be she did, and kept quiet. I wanted to thrash the imbeciles, but there was nothing I could do. I was all of 15 then, and these were men almost my uncle's age.

Then there was the guy who stretched his legs under the seat and tried to play with the feet of a female friend I was travelling with. She promptly stomped on his toes, and knowing her, I'm sure he would have bled if he wasn't in shoes.

2004 passed-out engineering graduates in and around Bangalore will remember their Oracle walk-in. Not for the jobs they got or missed. Girls will remember that day, not for the physical bruises in the melee, not for the material losses like cellphones, spectacles and slippers, but for the hundreds of hands which pinched their behind, for the unknown hands that felt them up. Guys I know to be born lechers, boasted about it. They had already stripped the girl in their mind. The lecherous stares, the eyes which stealthily go 'downtown', even as a girl is being introduced, the hands which never let go of a handshake until the girl makes it all-too-limp. I wonder what they get by two seconds of female flesh contact. I am reminded of Shobhaa De's article in The Week, where she writes about lecherous men in Mumbai locals fantasising about their daily dose - two bottoms pinched, one breast cupped, two minutes of rubbing against a sleeveless hand, one toe against a waxed leg...

Personally, I am all for girls to be independent. I applaud it when they stand up for their rights. I encourage them when they strive to be self-sufficient. I appreciate it when they break the "male bastions". I congratulated a very close friend when she fought her way and made a guy get up from the ladies seat, because she was uncomfortable standing in the back of the bus with other guys. People really close to me know how I feel about it.

But, there are also times when I have myself escorted female friends out of a park when people passed comments because we sat together. I have hung my head, tongue tied, while walking together on the beach at night. I have let them drag me out of situations where the guy walking with a chip on his shoulder. Like Rajesh, my inaction at times makes me feel I'm an accomplice. I am unable to say anything when a female friend drags me away from a potential situation saying, "We have learnt to live with it."

Why? Why have you learnt to live with it?

zigzackly makes an interesting point when he draws a comparison on harassment. Is it harassment when a guy asks a gal out? Most definitely no. Then is it the lack of polish that maked the difference? Roadside romeos seeking a chance also do the same, but in a rude, crude manner. And what would you call the polished ones, who send flowers and candy repeatedly, and won't take no for an answer?

The problem is in differentiating these. These are grey areas which cant be shackled into black and white squares. Nobody is born a gentleman. Gentlemanly qualities are acquired. Respect for women in imbibed. Chivalry needs to be developed. And which is why this post finds its place in the blogspace. Even if one person in my miniscule readership reads this post and the links, and turns a wee bit better, I am vindicated. Slowly but surely, the cat calls will stop, and a day will dawn where men will respect a woman's privacy, dignity and grace. And until then, we will have to keep moving the wheel, and improving ourselves and those around us.

To all those women I love, I respect, I care for and share my tears and laughter with, have a great Womens Day.

QnR: Partyspeak

A party for R is a all-night all-guys drinking spree, unless otherwise specified. When the guys meet, they are greeting each other, backslapping and pulling each other's legs. Every one speaks in a common language. Before drinks that is. Afterwards, you can start counting the languages. Every damn thing comes out, and is discussed at length. From the first crush to the last heartbreak, everything is revisited. College life comes out, vivid as ever, memories are refreshed, jokes cracked, a detailed analysis is done vis a vis life then, and it is agreed that life was much more fun then, and another round is served. So on it goes into the night.

The morning after, friendships are at an alltime high. Should Q call anyone "R didnt come home last night", half a dozen friends would vouch that he was with them the last night. And then half a dozen calls would go to R's cell, saying Q had called. And R would have a tough time saying all seven of them were together, catching up on life at a eighth person's house.

Conversations with his male friends are over in less than a minute. He can convey a hundred things in "Yes, Ok...No not that, the other one. Yep. U bet. Thats on me, yes. Sure, Bye". The others understand too. When he says "nothing", there is no need to ask "You sure?". God forbid you walk away saying OK, when she says "Nothing". With girls everything is the opposite. Nothing always means there is something. She is not fine when she says "Fine". A Maybe is most definitely a Yes, and a "Thanks a lot" is absolutely no thanks.

QnR: May I take you out for dinner?

He will eat anything anywhere.

Whether it is a chai at a footpath hotel or sushi in a suburban deli, he will not fuss too much. In the rare case that he doesnt like anything, he will just not eat it. Take her out on a treat -- "The guy put his hand in the jug, how can you drink from it" at the footpath, "The plate has something on it, lets go somewhere else" at the chat center, "The service is so late, has he gone to grow the cereals?" at the restaurant, "The prices are so high, I can make better manchurian at home", at the suburban deli, "The food is so oily" at the bhajia stall, "The cup is dirty" at the tea stall.

He is like "Kya naatak hai yaar, we guys have been doing these things for so many years before we met you gals...zinda nahi hain kya?"