Oooonnn

You must be knowing that Oxford adds a new word to its dictionary every year. This year's word is oooonning.

Oooonning: verb, the act of singing through one's nose, usually before or in the opening lines of a song. The most famous proponent of this form of singing is Himmy, who compares himself to the legendary sufi and ghazal singer, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan.

All was fine when Sallu offered Himmy his first break in PKTDK. Humraaz, methinks, was the latest display of his sanity. Later, he appeared as a gharana trainer in Sa Re Ga Ma Pa- Music Director ka Mahayuddh. He was just a music director then, like Jatin-Lalit and Ismail Durbar. He was okay in the first few rounds. Later when his protege Vinit's luck turned with a baseball cap, Himmy took to it as well.

What Himmy does is - he doesn't bath for a week, gets a crew cut, grows a beard, gets a torn baseball cap, a worn leather jacket, a steel mike and starts ooooonnning. First he is seen sharing space with heroes in remixes of his own songs. Then others are seen sharing space with him, in his own music video. Talk of role reversal. (Come to think of it, oooooo sounds same if you sing it forward or reverse. Oh! Dear Me !!! Such versatility.)

Aashiq Banaya Aapne, the first product of this oooonn business is a smashing hit. It breaks all records (There were none, in the first place. This was the first ooonn album, remember?).

Then, my friends, begins to spread - the Himmy virus. So much that MTV makes a spoof of it:
A person affected by Himmy virus (ooooonnn Khajoor, 13 13 13 surrooor)
-> begins to wear a baseball cap suddenly.
-> wears a old leather jacket.
-> grows a stubble.
-> thinks Ismail Durbar does not know anything.
-> holds a guitar with no idea of how to play it.
-> thinks the nose is for singing and not for breathing.

If you know any person affected by this please send HIMESH (ech eye yem eee yes ech) to 8459, for vaccination.

Himmy delivers hit after hit in Aksar, Chinatown and his first non-film ooolbum "Tera suroor". Research done on "Himms", yeah these are the names for Himmy compositions, show that one particular single or double syllable word repeats at least twice. And more often than not, its 13 13...13 13. No?

Take a look-
Mar Jawa Jawa Mar jawa mar jawa mit jawa..
Aa Aa Aashiquin mein teri..
Zara Jhoom Jhoom..
Naam hai tera tera..
Tera tera tera surroor..
Laagi Laagi laagi prem rog laagi..
Jhalak dikhla ja, ek baar aaja aaja..

Ad-men try to catch in on his popoonnlarity by using his song "Jhalak Dikhla Jaa" for motorbikes. Methinks they want to prove that their bikes would also go oooonn once started, so like in cars, you can also enjoy music on the go.

By this time, wisecracks have come up with their PJs. Like this one:
Identify the song:
OO
OON
OOON
OOOON
OOOOON
OOOOOON
OOOOOOON

Didn't guess?
OOOOOOOON Huzoor, 13 13 13 surrooor.

And this one: There is a house called "DIL" where all the walls have 13 written over them. Identify the song:
DIL ki surkh diwaron pe, naam hai 13, 13... naam hai 13 13...

In spite of all this, people like her indulge in Himmy-bashing. What I don't understand is how can people say all these things about dear Himmy?

Crooning Himmy's songs in Karaoke will help you clear your nasal passages. Breath control and nasal voice modulation improve beyond imagination. In fact, those who croon Himms breathe better than those who chant vedic hymns. I think they fare a tad better than those who do Surya namaskar and Art of Living.

Ooonning once at bedtime will convince the mosquitoes that you are one of them, so they will not bite you. It will also identify you to the diseased dogs in the street, so they won't howl in front of your house.

Oooning with greater gusto, with increase in tempo, while listening to dhik chick dhik chick music will help cure constipation, and improve bowel movements. Himmy has 'himm'self said that he does not rest until he composes at least 3 songs a day. No wonder you don't get his appointment in the mornings.

Here is a man who is curing ailments, repelling mosquitoes and rabid canines, giving ideas for making brand new PJs, and all you do is indulge in Himmy-bash?...Tch tch...

Ok, thats all...I'm rolling on the floor now....Hoo hoo hoooooooonnn...Oh no, now i'm laughing in ooooon.

Update: Oh!! I thought I had heard it all. Villagers have now banned Himmy's Jhalak dikhla jaa, because the "ek baar aaja aaja" brings back the dead from their graves. The villagers have turned off the radio, and burnt all CDs and cassettes of that song. Wonder how it will affect the sales of bikes though.